What i have been up to

I have been a busy mommy.I have been doing Aprils school work with her, working with Havanna on her schooling and getting started on some of those harder things with Tatiana. Cristofer is getting so big and is starting to sit up on his own.I really don't seem to find to much time for me, even right now i am hearing my two youngest scream at the fact that i am not right next to them. Mommy April to the rescue wants to spend time with her brother and sisters. I keep trying to overhaul my home with different systems and trying to get my kids to conform to what i want them to do. I know i have very well behaved children and that i should be happy that they are so good. I have come to realize over the last few weeks is that i am the one who needs the over hauling.

so this is where i am now and i hope this will work better for my family. We are all going to take steps to get our home and life's in order. Priorities need to come back into play and we have to fix our individual relationships. Here is some of the things we will be trying. First we will be working on our one on one relationships with God. My DH is working with a book called The Man Code and is working through his personal relationships that way. I at the moment feel i have a lot to work on. Even though my DH is the head of the house hold i am the the one who keeps it going down the right way. There are a lot of things i need to work on and i will be taking a few areas at a time and asking for guidance. As of now i will be working on not yelling, not using bad language and respecting my family more. My children will be working on their listening skills which should come a lot faster when i change the way i respond to those moments when they aren't listening so well.They will also be working on them self, characteristics and personalities. I am hoping by bringing in more family time and more prayer and devotion time that they will see the characters that play a big part in life. My husband and i will be working harder on installing these and at the same time we are hopeful that our relationship will get stronger as well through this change. We still plan on staying modern but will be having personal values and morals will be sticking to rather the out side world agrees or not.

The reason i am doing all this, some might think its to look like a better on the outside. But really i am so tired feeling like i am failing my children everyday. I have since the beginning that i wanted to be a certain type of mom. I have not done that or been that person and its time i step back and stop trying to be that super mom every ones pretends to be and put my focus back to what is best for my family.

Join me on this journey of ups and downs.... laughs and tears and i am ooo so sure late night rambles on this blog....

i have been away for so long

sorry i have been away so long. all of my computers havent been working and my cellphone wont let me post. but now io am back and look forward to getting back to my challanges and posting. it will take me a little to work my self in to free time to do so but thank you to those who read!