Friday, August 21, 2009

Sending her off to school

Monday is the day, April starts Kinder. and i dont know how to feel. I am young compared to most moms. But the feeling of "she growing " is coming into play making me feel ooo so old. I have sat and thought about how will it feel to watch her go through the gate of her school or the door to her room with her back pack on. will she look back and smile. will she be happy that she gets to be there with the chance of making new friends and having new experiences. how will her 3 year old sister feel. Because even though i look at my two oldest as "big girls" Havanna is still a baby. Will she break down when her big sister is not there to play with.

It is all so surreal to know that i have done my mommy and me time with her and now i have to let her grow up and really be a big girl. Will she make friends will she like her teacher. will she learn new things???? those are all on my mind. Even though i have 3 more children to watch over teach and love on ... what will i do with those 2 and 1/2 hours she is not with me. for the past 5 years now my children have been with me for almost everyday. they have never had a babysitter and when i went in to have brother and sisters they came with. i have never been away from them for longer then a few hours. (except one time for emergency surgery) will i be ok... will i be that mom who is driving away with tears in her eyes. as i sit here and type i am getting teary eyed. My little girl all grown up.

My plan of action .. well i ave been planning for this day for 5 years.i knew when she was born i would start with the home school to help her learn things and get a little bit ahead. make school fun and interesting, we have always showed interest in it ourselves. i knew what type of clothes i would want to send to school in. i knew i wanted her to pick her first back pack, to be able to have fun school shopping and to want to just go. April has been counting down the days.

Will i go through this with each child? I hope so .. the excitement of knowing how much fun they will have and the friends they will make the new things they will learn i think will never leave me.

This is it for me. why i am . why i breath. For the love of 4

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